17 weeks: life lessons

17 weeks

i was sooooooo hoping my first "weekly recap" would only be full of positive things...but that's not how life works most of the time, now is it?

i will start with the awesome stuff. and trust me...there have been loads of awesome stuff!

 -baby bean is the size of a turnip!


we've had a busy week:

-on tuesday, i had a check up with Dr. Olvera & all is well. bean's heartbeat is strong and steady in the 140's which is right where it's supposed to be. yay! now, i know we are so so so blessed that we have an "uncomplicated pregnancy" but it's a little frustrating that the doctors are so quick with us and there are no extra ultrasounds...i'm so grateful there's no cause for concern but i'll be honest - this new mama's still concerned! listening to that woosh-woosh of bean's heartbeat is the only reassurance i get to let me know that all's well in there. so naturally, it was probably the best 30 seconds of my week :)

-we have our first "real" ultrasound scheduled for 9/30. i say "real" because we did get the first one at 8 weeks but (sorry bean), it just looked like a chicken nugget. i can't WAIT to see my sweet chicken nugget now! so we are anxiously awaiting the 30th. we'll also find out if bean is a boy or a girl at that appointment, assuming he/she cooperates with the photo shoot.

-on wednesday, baby and i went to our first prenatal yoga class. it was awesome. we'll be trying to go every wednesday from here on out. even with my regular yoga classes and the weight lifting i've still been doing, this yoga was tough! so i know it is exactly what my body needs right now.

-on friday, i started feeling the baby move!! this obviously rivals the heartbeat when it comes to favorite moments of the week. it's still pretty faint (so we'll see how much i love it when it's a roundhouse to the ribs) but for now - i LOVE it...lots of reassurance that baby bean is a-okay this week, which is amazing. keep those kicks comin' little one!

-on saturday, bean and i ventured out to salutation nation with some friends. what is salutation nation you ask? basically, once a year yogi's from all over the world got together at 9am on saturday to practice yoga all at the same time. pretty cool, huh? we had a great time in breckenridge park. it was a beautiful, cool morning...yoga in the sunshine & under the trees was exactly what this heart of mine needed.

salutation nation

...okay, so now for the not so great stuff...

my grandpa passed away this past week :( i could write a NOVEL about all of this but i will just keep it simple and say that this week has been tough (hello, understatement). mostly, i worried that the stress and sadness would affect baby bean somehow. that may sound silly but i feel like my feelings right now are baby's feelings too so i couldn't help but worry that such crushing sadness would surely be felt by bean as well. it really bothered me. i didn't want to teach baby to be sad! i know that life is hard & baby bean will be sad someday but goodness, it will be hard enough later! not yet! i just want baby to be safe and protected right now. but then i realized, "okay, if i'm going to be sad right now (DUH), i can also teach baby bean something WAY more important...i can teach them how to rely on God during these super tough times too". and that's a lesson i'm honored to be able to teach. life is hard. that's a given. but i believe that my faith has really helped me get through the yucky times and someday i hope bean can say the same thing.

on one of the blogs i follow (i know, i know i follow a lot of blogs!), Casey was recently sharing some pretty serious heartbreak she's been experiencing & one of the comments from a reader really put it well:

"I find beauty in not only the beautiful things in life, but the bittersweet and sad as well. To me, there is something poignantly lovely about the human experience from its splendor to its grief. God created all our emotions, not just the happy ones, and for His good purposes. That's why a good cry can feel so good. And hitting our limits forces us to look outside ourselves for a Savior. It is in the plea, when we're at our end, that we can find that which is truly life-giving. Personally, my moments of deepest grief, deepest pain, have resulted in the most beautiful seasons in my heart. I've met God more intimately in those moments than in all the other pleasant ones combined. What isn't completely lovely about that?"- Leslie 

thank you, leslie for putting my feelings into words much better than i can!

i have found such comfort in past situations & this situation as well - knowing that when i am sad, helpless or scared out of my mind...that is when i am being held onto the tightest.

this weekend at church, we sang "it is well with my soul".... 

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.
...yeah try and sing THAT bad boy without tearing up - i dare ya! but, regardless of the huge lump in my throat, it was the reminder i needed.

this song always makes me feel a million times better.

                            {JJ Heller, "Your Hands"}




xoxo,
K & Baby