19 weeks: great expectations



19 weeks

here's what baby bean is up to this week (according to Baby Center):

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.
Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

...good to know.

so, let's see....this week baby and jack completed their first 5K! Saturday morning, the three of us had a ball at the SNIPSA Race for the Rescues. it was a nice cool morning (the ONLY nice cool morning in about 10 years...) and big brother jack was so well-behaved, i was so proud of him!

have i mentioned i LOVE feeling the baby kick? seriously. so cool. soccer player? cody felt his first kick on sunday. it's still pretty faint from the outside but i'm sure that won't last long since each kick is stronger than the last.

apparently, i'm taking cues from the little one because i was really kickin' MYSELF earlier in the week. i try to stay positive and grateful as much as possible but i'll be honest, it doesn't always work out that way. i can be hard on myself sometimes and this was just one of those times...i tend to get frustrated because i just want to be good at everything. hey, i said i'm being honest! so, when it comes to being pregnant, instead of focusing on ALL the amazing things my body is doing right now and all the miracles we are blessed with daily - i also struggle with the worry that i'm not doing the BEST that i could...i should be glowing, nesting & sporting a cute little basketball bump when in reality most days i am just fading, sleeping & widening in all directions. i worry that i'm not eating well enough, not drinking enough water, not taking care of housework, not preparing for baby, just not...rocking pregnancy the way i'd hoped.

note to self: Good God woman, get over it! you are blessed beyond measure right now. stop complaining.soak it up. be grateful!

sure enough, i stumbled across two things last week that really helped me switch up my attitude. first, i got an email from Fit Pregnancy which had an article titled "The Perfect Enough Pregnancy" . then Kelle Hampton posted this on her blog about fitting it all in and doing the best we can. good stuff right there. take a second to read the post. girlfriend can WRITE. i'm gonna bookmark that blog post because Lord knows that these feelings of inadequacy have only just begun now as i take on the role of new mama!

ok, so enough of that...there is something much more important going on NEXT week that i am focusing on! the doctor's appointment we have been waiting for! we find out if bean is a he or a she & get to see him or her with a comprehensive sonogram. I am seriously counting down the days until Friday the 30th!

people keep asking me what i want it to be or what i think it is. i have no clue & i really don't want a boy or a girl more than the other. we've been blessed with a life, with a child that will be PERFECT in God's design. now don't get me wrong, i cannot WAIT to start picking out names and nursery colors once we know what we are having but as cliche as it sounds...healthy. that's all we want.

i can imagine both...i imagine a little mini-cody running around...i imagine tee ball and scraped knees and cute little polo shirts for my little man. but i also imagine bows and ballet recitals and a sweet little princess too.

so, next week's blog post will be the big reveal! will it be "sugar and spice and everything nice" or "frogs and snails and puppy-dog tails"? either way...we'll be over the moon :)

xoxo,
K & baby

18 weeks: ONE(sie) LOVE



18 weeks. hello bump!






baby updates according to alpha mom:

• Is about the size of a baked potato — five-and-a-half inches long.
• Has actual cute little ears and working ear bones and can hear sounds through the amniotic fluid — similar to how things sound to you underwater.
• Is moving, moving, moving. The baby is still small enough that you may not feel every kick and punch yet, but the movements will start getting less “bubble-like” and more “holy crap, that was totally a foot” pretty soon, if they aren’t already.

-With the funeral services this week, it was a pretty somber week... but Baby & I made it through just fine together....stick with me kiddo. we've got this :) I'm still so sad that Grandpa will never get to "meet" baby bean, but I'm grateful for my faith & I believe that now that he's in heaven, Grandpa knows our little bean better than we do! I just picture him lovin' on our little one & it makes me smile (ok, and cry too but that comes with the preggo territory, doesn't it?)

"Awesomes" of the week: -All of our penta screen tests (genetic screening) all came back normal....so HUGE sigh of relief!

-I LOVE feeling the baby kick. I know I said this last week too but oh my goodness, I really REALLY do!

-check out the adorable onesies we've collected so far:


http://www.etsy.com/shop/tinytwistcreative
the funds made from this little shop on etsy help in funding this sweet couple's adoption from the Democratic Republic of Congo! check 'em out.



from mama's trip to Chicago :)



H&M



...sorry...couldn't figure out how to rotate the first two. i trust that even sideways, the cuteness is still quite evident.

"Awkwards" of the week:
-uh...my morning sickness (oh who am I kidding...all-friggin-day sickness) is back. with a vengeance. what the heck?! whoever said that the 2nd trimester is "sooooooo awesome" is full of crap. I feel just as yucky as I did in my 1st trimester if not worse....and ending pity party now.
-family in town = lots of belly touching which I am NOT a fan of. I let it slide though. this time....
-prenatal yoga kicks my butt every.single.time. seriously? how can i still make it just fine through body pump, spin & kickboxing but yoga leaves me sweaty and gasping for air?!
-nothing fits right! i'm too big for my regular clothes but too small for maternity clothes...getting ready has become an ordeal (well...more so than usual...) my closet is just one big pile of "nope. not gonna work"

 ...all this complaining but seriously, I'm feeling VERY blessed. Every morning feels like Christmas morning when I wake up, put my hand on my belly & smile....

xoxo,
K & Baby

17 weeks: life lessons

17 weeks

i was sooooooo hoping my first "weekly recap" would only be full of positive things...but that's not how life works most of the time, now is it?

i will start with the awesome stuff. and trust me...there have been loads of awesome stuff!

 -baby bean is the size of a turnip!


we've had a busy week:

-on tuesday, i had a check up with Dr. Olvera & all is well. bean's heartbeat is strong and steady in the 140's which is right where it's supposed to be. yay! now, i know we are so so so blessed that we have an "uncomplicated pregnancy" but it's a little frustrating that the doctors are so quick with us and there are no extra ultrasounds...i'm so grateful there's no cause for concern but i'll be honest - this new mama's still concerned! listening to that woosh-woosh of bean's heartbeat is the only reassurance i get to let me know that all's well in there. so naturally, it was probably the best 30 seconds of my week :)

-we have our first "real" ultrasound scheduled for 9/30. i say "real" because we did get the first one at 8 weeks but (sorry bean), it just looked like a chicken nugget. i can't WAIT to see my sweet chicken nugget now! so we are anxiously awaiting the 30th. we'll also find out if bean is a boy or a girl at that appointment, assuming he/she cooperates with the photo shoot.

-on wednesday, baby and i went to our first prenatal yoga class. it was awesome. we'll be trying to go every wednesday from here on out. even with my regular yoga classes and the weight lifting i've still been doing, this yoga was tough! so i know it is exactly what my body needs right now.

-on friday, i started feeling the baby move!! this obviously rivals the heartbeat when it comes to favorite moments of the week. it's still pretty faint (so we'll see how much i love it when it's a roundhouse to the ribs) but for now - i LOVE it...lots of reassurance that baby bean is a-okay this week, which is amazing. keep those kicks comin' little one!

-on saturday, bean and i ventured out to salutation nation with some friends. what is salutation nation you ask? basically, once a year yogi's from all over the world got together at 9am on saturday to practice yoga all at the same time. pretty cool, huh? we had a great time in breckenridge park. it was a beautiful, cool morning...yoga in the sunshine & under the trees was exactly what this heart of mine needed.

salutation nation

...okay, so now for the not so great stuff...

my grandpa passed away this past week :( i could write a NOVEL about all of this but i will just keep it simple and say that this week has been tough (hello, understatement). mostly, i worried that the stress and sadness would affect baby bean somehow. that may sound silly but i feel like my feelings right now are baby's feelings too so i couldn't help but worry that such crushing sadness would surely be felt by bean as well. it really bothered me. i didn't want to teach baby to be sad! i know that life is hard & baby bean will be sad someday but goodness, it will be hard enough later! not yet! i just want baby to be safe and protected right now. but then i realized, "okay, if i'm going to be sad right now (DUH), i can also teach baby bean something WAY more important...i can teach them how to rely on God during these super tough times too". and that's a lesson i'm honored to be able to teach. life is hard. that's a given. but i believe that my faith has really helped me get through the yucky times and someday i hope bean can say the same thing.

on one of the blogs i follow (i know, i know i follow a lot of blogs!), Casey was recently sharing some pretty serious heartbreak she's been experiencing & one of the comments from a reader really put it well:

"I find beauty in not only the beautiful things in life, but the bittersweet and sad as well. To me, there is something poignantly lovely about the human experience from its splendor to its grief. God created all our emotions, not just the happy ones, and for His good purposes. That's why a good cry can feel so good. And hitting our limits forces us to look outside ourselves for a Savior. It is in the plea, when we're at our end, that we can find that which is truly life-giving. Personally, my moments of deepest grief, deepest pain, have resulted in the most beautiful seasons in my heart. I've met God more intimately in those moments than in all the other pleasant ones combined. What isn't completely lovely about that?"- Leslie 

thank you, leslie for putting my feelings into words much better than i can!

i have found such comfort in past situations & this situation as well - knowing that when i am sad, helpless or scared out of my mind...that is when i am being held onto the tightest.

this weekend at church, we sang "it is well with my soul".... 

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.
...yeah try and sing THAT bad boy without tearing up - i dare ya! but, regardless of the huge lump in my throat, it was the reminder i needed.

this song always makes me feel a million times better.

                            {JJ Heller, "Your Hands"}




xoxo,
K & Baby

first 4 months

well, it's official...we've announced to family & friends, we've announced at work & let's be honest...really sealed the deal with the ever-so-serious facebook announcement. you're facebook official...no turnin' back now little one...

i'm 16 weeks now and the first trimester (plus) has been....interesting. i'll be completely honest, i thought i would be a rockstar at this pregnancy thing. i consider myself to be a pretty tough cookie...but ohhhhhhh have i been humbled. i'm a total pregnancy wuss! and to make matters worse, i've heard horror stories about women who have had it WAY worse than i have so what's my problem???

the first four months can be summed up by the one conversation poor cody & i had every.single.day.
C: "How are you feeling today babe? Any better?"
K: "No, I feel like crap. Stop asking" (slumps into a heap of self pity)
pa-the-tic.

but i *think* we are headed out of first trimester misery (crossing fingers) so PRAY! pray more for cody than for me at this point! he needs deserves his old wife back!

i confided in my friend, sherree about our baby bean pretty early on. i'm glad i did b/c sherree was pregnant at the time (since then, she's given birth to the sweeeeetest little girl, Zoey :) & gave me 2 invaluable pieces of advice:
1. try not to stress every little thing. you'll learn that "everything" is normal for pregnancy and "nothing" is normal for pregnancy. amen sista.
2. read this pregnancy calculator: http://alphamom.com/pregnancy-calendar-overview/

the pregnancy calendar is PERFECT. it explains what's going on with just the right amount of humor and puts this whole pregnancy thing in "our language". i love it. we read it every week & cody and i share our excitement with what we've learned..."baby bean has fingerprints!" "baby bean can suck it's thumb!". it's great.

i just recently started following the loveliest blog called The Daybook. (thanks lacie, for the recommendation...i loooooove!). in the blog, sweet sydney (the blogger) posts something called "awkward & awesome" where she comically re-hashes the awkward and awesome moments of her week. it's hilarious. well, as you can imagine - our lives have gotten a lot more awkward and a LOT more awesome the past couple of months. i thought it would be a perfect way to recap the first 4 months:

AWKWARD:

-wanting to puke 24/7 but being STARVING at the same time. so weird

-also wanting to sleep 24/7 which i know is good for baby bean but just makes me feel like a lazy, worthless piece of...

-cutting WAY back on workouts which ALSO makes me feel lazy and silly...what do you mean march in place instead of high knees? walk instead of run? go down in weights? cringe (but don't you worry sweet baby bean, you are SO worth it...)

-the massive amount of fast food/take out we've eaten. will i EVER be able to eat salad or chicken again?! i will be completely honest & confess that i can be found at luby's, whataburger & little caeser's MUCH more often than i'd like to admit. but hey...dinner for two for $5.99 that's "hot AND ready"? i'll take it.

-people looking at me funny before i announced the pregnancy...is she just getting fat? is she pregnant? is she just getting fat? is she pregnant? i have been quite amazed by the lack of tact when it comes to asking me if i'm pregnant and also when giving me advice about "just wait 'til you get fat" or "try not to get fat!". i got it people. thanks.

enough of that...now for the AWESOME :)

{Hello Peanut!}

-seeing baby bean's heartbeat for the very first time....oh...my....it took our breath away. i'm pretty sure my OWN heart stopped at the sight of yours, sweet little baby!

-telling our parents they were gonna be grandparents & our sisters they were gonna be aunts

-telling the rest of our family and friends and knowing that baby bean is already loved and being prayed for

-reading each week on the alphamom pregnancy calendar about how our baby bean is growing

-being told "you will make a great mom" or "you guys will be awesome parents"...no compliment has ever sounded so wonderful.

-my hair (oh, hello gorgeous tresses! i thought you were thick before!) & nails (sayonara chipped nails!)


...that's about all for now! looking forward to a great 2nd trimester & now that i can finally talk about it, i will keep you updated with weekly posts!